YOU-cee on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/you-cee/art/YOU-cee-I-Can-t-Bear-Hurting-You-318034486YOU-cee

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YOU-cee: I Can't Bear Hurting You

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Description

PLEASE READ THE DESCRIPTION BEFORE JUMPING TO WILD CONCLUSIONS (Also, these words that I'm about to write are not about Kaden, but from my own heart truly)
--

I know I'm unwise with words when I'm provoked; however, you don't understand. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll ever understand. You always seem to dig up the scars that I tried so hard to forget. No, I don't want to see them. I don't even want to remember...because looking at them again makes my heart ache so much. You don't understand the pain that I relive when I remember about those that hurt me...about those that I hurt. And because you don't understand the pain you're causing me, I want to hurt you. I want to cut and pierce you with my words, to make you feel the same pain that I'm going through. I want to tell you how much it hurts in my heart....but I can't.

Love keeps binding me; it disables me to speak harsh words against you. It binds my hands so I can't hurt you. And helplessly, all I could do is cry. Cry because I can't vindicate myself; cry because I can't hurt you. Honestly, it's alright with me if I'm the one who gets hurt, because I won't be able to bear it if you're the one that gets hurt. That's why I stand where I am, and just smile to hide the pain that I'm going through.

...and though I'm breaking inside, I hold back because I foolishly love you.


--
THIS IS NOT AIMED AT ANYONE. I just wrote/ drew about this because I'm like this to those that I love. I laugh at myself for this. I hate this in myself. I hate how I can't tell them what I want to say; however, at the same time, I'm also glad that I can't say it. Because I'd end up hating myself more if I see them hurt.

And yes, this is different from my other deviations, because I know this isn't my usual "happy colorful" thing. I remembered talking to one of my loved ones. It was that night when I opened up all my heart aches to her. And I can't forget what she told me. She said "Don't keep it all in to yourself...if you have no one to say it to, then have an outlet to let it all out. You draw a lot, right? Have you ever used that to express how you really feel?" and there. One of my first works that actually expresses how I feel. I didn't do works like this because I was scared that people would think I'm too emotional; however, I'm not scared anymore. It's my art after all, and I can express however I feel through it.
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Comments41
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clannia's avatar
Slightly scared me when I scrolled down more... XD I like this one ^^